Summer Road Trip Massachusetts: Wicked Fun and Wicked Close
It’ll be friggin’ awesome, dude. Staht ya trip in Boston. Get in yowah cah, grab a Dunks and get to the T. Try Summahville. It’s wicked close to the New Hampshah boadah. Ya gonna take the Orange Line. You can walk when you get into the city, dude, so it’ll be wicked easy to get around.
Alright. Enough fooling around. The home of "brewer and patriot" Sam Adams is very much worth the trip.
You can play it straight (pun intended) and head to P-town on the Cape, visit the Witch House in Salem, the U.S.S. Constitution, or head up Mount Greylock. But if your sense of adventure, and the odd, is stronger, you have options. Many, many Massachusetts options.
Our sister state to the south that is kind enough to host the Boston Red Sox, New England Patriots, Celtics and Bruins has islands where pirates were hung, its share of weirdly shaped geologic anomalies and just about everything else historic, nutty and wonderful. Here is just a taste of nuttiness:
Boston and the east side of the state has enough interesting places alone that will keep you busy for a lifetime. Are you heading to the North End for some of their superb Italian food? Before you hit the town and Mike’s go get a good look at the Sacred Cod at the Statehouse.
The wooden fish, three different ones over the years, has hung for decades at the Massachusetts Statehouse. It is an icon that celebrates the fish that helped create the state — and New England. The wooden one in Boston proved too tempting for thieves over the years. It has been heisted and returned several times. The stories are truly tasty.
But don’t leave Boston quite yet. Get all that duck boat nonsense out of your system and zombie-walk over to the Old North Church. Pay the extra few bucks for the crypt tour.
You’ll be close (they call Beantown a walking city) so amble over to Brattle Book Shop. As iconic as the big fish but much easier to get close to.
While you’re getting your culture on, stick your nose in the air and get to the Museum of Bad Art in Somerville.
Photo — The Museum of Bad Art/Facebook: WOMAN RIDING A CUSTACEAN, Anonymous, 12"X16", oil on canvas, found in Greenwich Village by Josh Einhorn (1980s) Donated by Linda L. Carrubba, May, 2008 MOBA #448
Still not enough? Well head on up to the North Shore to Gloucester. Saint Peter’s Fiesta may be your thing.
Gloucester is ground zero for the New England fishing industry. A summer festival celebrating faith, food, fishing and a big greasy pole.
The pole? It is slathered up to make it super slick. It’s suspended over the water between to points. Cross it without falling in and you’re a hero.
Like boats? Do you like big boats? There are none bigger than those at Battleship Cove in Fall River. The museum features ... wait for it … a battleship, as well as other warships that you can go into and explore while learning what they did and how they did it. It's a marvel of machinery and wartime determination and well worth the drive.
While you’re driving remember, Massachusetts is pretty big. Not as big as Maine (stay tuned NH1.com readers) but you will need to head west. Be careful. You'll be wicked close to a bunch of Yankee fans out there ...
Don’t be that guy at your next summer barbecue who doesn’t have the answer to this question: “hey man, did you stop at Lake Chargoggagoggmanchauggagoggchaubunagungamaugg.”
Yeah. You read that right. It’s a lake with a name as big as that battleship and as big as that headache you got falling off that greased pole in Gloucester. If you can’t hack it, just call it Webster Lake. You’ll be fine.
So tongue twisted travelers looking for fun, try Springfield my friend as that town has some. The Seuss museum has plenty to see. The visit is pricey, sorry, not free. Six Flags, the Big E, antiques, potholes and more. Just remember it all is just a short ride from your door.
Had enough? Swing back toward home but stop at Old Sturbridge Village. Remember, Massachusetts drips with history. Embrace it. It won’t hurt. If all the authentic-looking buildings, costumed role players, authentic crafts and similar educational (don’t be scared) experiences don’t reel you in, they have gobs of events. The classic living history museum has a transportation festival June 9 and 10.