OPINION: Mom Dilemma: Stay Out Late for Sanity's Sake or Be Home for Bedtime
A friend of mine told me that when she has a GNO (Girls' Night Out) — maybe once every three to four weeks or so — she purposely stays out until she knows her kids are already in bed so that she can just unwind when she gets home.
She asked me if that makes her a bad mom.
While I don't think that makes her a bad mom ... some say that it makes her a selfish mom. Why would she want to miss putting her kids to bed? Look, my kids go to bed at 9 p.m. If I'm going out, I'm probably not going to be back by 9.
I asked listeners of the "Morning Wake Up" with Nazzy and Tara on 98.3 LNH and here are some of the comments we received.
Sarah Morrill: "We should ALL remember that being a mother is not a contest and we all do stuff every now and then to get out of doing something we don't want or to do something for ourselves... if this arrangement works for her and her spouse (who, fairly, is taking a turn for bedtime routine) then who are we to complain about it? Personally I would rather do something with my husband if I actually got a night off from the kids, but that's just me. Whatever works for you."
Susan O'Connell: "I think that makes her a good Mom, you have to be selfish otherwise you go crazy. Kudos to her!"
Angela Jaquith Bellamy: "I do that sometimes but I put the kids to bed almost every night and it takes like and hour to get all 3 of them settled. So no, not a bad mom for wanting to skip bedtime once a month. :)"
Cassandra Charest: "I don't think that makes her a bad mom at all! Moms are still people too, and childrearing is a full-time job. It's healthy to get out once in a while and probably helps to make her a better mom because she is able to go out a release stress, rather than taking it out on the kids."
Susan Sukie King: "A night out is needed for sanity, for men too! The idea is to have a night off from family duties so this includes bedtime. If you are going one in a while it's hardly selfish, it's healthy. To be able to identify when you need that break and then make arrangements so your kids are well cared for when you are absent is a good thing. We have to model healthy behaviors to our kids and taking breaks is just that. Party on!"